Where are they now?
In August 2004, The Hendon Mob Forum ran the first Search Terms competition and I won!
Each month they publish a list of the unusual search terms that people used on various search engines to find The Hendon Mob website. The ones from August were:
cock nose, lads mag, good booking, suspicious behaviour, jennifer lopez esquire, where are they now pam ayers, no-one is interested in me, tape recorder.com, saddo, property in riga, play zonka, putting course barcelona, disturbing trend teen model, jealous people who criticize, how to change gears in racing, peter the pigeon, guzzi police bike, you are not sorry, hoovering, just muppets, matthews 19. 4-6, fatima whitbread topless, and boxing fetish.
The best short story containing all of the above terms would win the competition. Here is my effort which won:
"Where are they now?" Pam Ayers (Author)
Picture the scene. The final table of the WSOZ (that's right, the World Series of Zonka) women only main event 2003, sponsored by taperecorder.com and being held as always at the "Putting Course", Barcelona. A tip off suggesting ETA would be targeting the event, as led to hundreds of police on Guzzi police bikes making part of the increased security on the lookout for suspicious behaviour around the venue.
On the buttom with the smallest stack is Jennifer Lopez. Esquire, the lads mag, sponsoring her in what is Jenny's first live Zonka tournament. Her recent single "Tu No Eres Arrepentido" (You Are Not Sorry) made it to number one in Costa Rica - her inspiration for the song came from all the bad beats the unbluffables, who are just muppets, have inflicted on her. After having no luck with saddo men, Jenny (still from the block) has had plenty of time to play Zonka (the hottest poker variant since Lowball) online.We wish her luck.
In the small blind with a medium stack stack is Peter "The Pigeon" Matthews, 19. 4-6, (1.67 to the betfairians) freely available on Pete to become WSOZ champion. A naturally gifted Zonka player and three time Formula Junior Champion who had a transexual operation especially for this women only event - hey, it's only jealous people who criticize. And anyway, he's not called The Pigeon for no reason. Peter now keeps his manhood in a little jar in front him at the table for luck. This she-man, knows how to mix it up in Zonka almost as good as he knows how to change gears in racing.
Next up on the big blind and in an effort to put off her opponents, is Fatima Whitbread topless with two big stacks in front of her which she has been using as card protectors. This former Olympian world javelin champion is said to have a boxing fetish. Lets hope she doesn't pull her punches in this final session.
A table full of freaks one might say. Continuing this disturbing trend, teen model and wannabe journalist/pro Zonka player, Vicky "No-one is interested in me" Coren who apparently after a year where the Zonka Gods have not been kind to her, has had to sell her property in riga to buy in to the event, is under the gun with just an average stack. Let's hope she wins.
Dealing this fearsome foursome is the Pierluigi Collina of Zonka, the man they simply call "Cock Nose" and who was known as Gonzo, but who since the introduction of Zonka they've started to call Zongo. Like Collina, who knew how to make a good booking, Zongo is an expert in his field - dealing the game of Zonka. His signature move is hoovering discards with his hooter.
Who won? Nobody knows.
Each month they publish a list of the unusual search terms that people used on various search engines to find The Hendon Mob website. The ones from August were:
cock nose, lads mag, good booking, suspicious behaviour, jennifer lopez esquire, where are they now pam ayers, no-one is interested in me, tape recorder.com, saddo, property in riga, play zonka, putting course barcelona, disturbing trend teen model, jealous people who criticize, how to change gears in racing, peter the pigeon, guzzi police bike, you are not sorry, hoovering, just muppets, matthews 19. 4-6, fatima whitbread topless, and boxing fetish.
The best short story containing all of the above terms would win the competition. Here is my effort which won:
"Where are they now?" Pam Ayers (Author)
Picture the scene. The final table of the WSOZ (that's right, the World Series of Zonka) women only main event 2003, sponsored by taperecorder.com and being held as always at the "Putting Course", Barcelona. A tip off suggesting ETA would be targeting the event, as led to hundreds of police on Guzzi police bikes making part of the increased security on the lookout for suspicious behaviour around the venue.
On the buttom with the smallest stack is Jennifer Lopez. Esquire, the lads mag, sponsoring her in what is Jenny's first live Zonka tournament. Her recent single "Tu No Eres Arrepentido" (You Are Not Sorry) made it to number one in Costa Rica - her inspiration for the song came from all the bad beats the unbluffables, who are just muppets, have inflicted on her. After having no luck with saddo men, Jenny (still from the block) has had plenty of time to play Zonka (the hottest poker variant since Lowball) online.We wish her luck.
In the small blind with a medium stack stack is Peter "The Pigeon" Matthews, 19. 4-6, (1.67 to the betfairians) freely available on Pete to become WSOZ champion. A naturally gifted Zonka player and three time Formula Junior Champion who had a transexual operation especially for this women only event - hey, it's only jealous people who criticize. And anyway, he's not called The Pigeon for no reason. Peter now keeps his manhood in a little jar in front him at the table for luck. This she-man, knows how to mix it up in Zonka almost as good as he knows how to change gears in racing.
Next up on the big blind and in an effort to put off her opponents, is Fatima Whitbread topless with two big stacks in front of her which she has been using as card protectors. This former Olympian world javelin champion is said to have a boxing fetish. Lets hope she doesn't pull her punches in this final session.
A table full of freaks one might say. Continuing this disturbing trend, teen model and wannabe journalist/pro Zonka player, Vicky "No-one is interested in me" Coren who apparently after a year where the Zonka Gods have not been kind to her, has had to sell her property in riga to buy in to the event, is under the gun with just an average stack. Let's hope she wins.
Dealing this fearsome foursome is the Pierluigi Collina of Zonka, the man they simply call "Cock Nose" and who was known as Gonzo, but who since the introduction of Zonka they've started to call Zongo. Like Collina, who knew how to make a good booking, Zongo is an expert in his field - dealing the game of Zonka. His signature move is hoovering discards with his hooter.
Who won? Nobody knows.
posted by DaMatrix @ Thursday, January 27, 2005
<< Home